The most ridiculous alternatives to GPS vehicle tracking solutions


GPS vehicle tracking solutions offer businesses a wide variety of features and benefits that can help save time, money and frustration. But it’s far from the only way to keep an eye on your fleet. If you decide against deploying a telematics solution, that’s OK...we have some alternatives that you just may want to consider (and then quickly dismiss after a quick chuckle)!

1. Marathon running right next to your vehicles (like mirror-holding close).

Let’s be honest, most of us don’t actually want to run for fun. Those days of running around anywhere without losing our breath in five seconds flat are probably long gone. But consider this method as a way to keep an eye on your fleet – and stay in shape. Should you decide this is the method of choice for your fleet tracking needs, consider going “undercover” and running in your driver’s blind spot as you go. We have to warn you of one major downside...unless your fleet drives everywhere convoy-style, you’re going to have a tough time monitoring more than one vehicle.

2. Calling your drivers. Every. Five. Seconds.

Have you ever called a driver and ended up having a conversation that sounded something like this?

You: Hey Joe! What’s your 20?
Joe: Just north of Main Street.
You: Thanks, Joe. What about now?
Joe: Just south of Main Street.

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While repetitively calling your drivers cell phone can become incredibly annoying, it’s also dangerous. The more time your driver spends listening to you on the phone is less time he spends concentrating on the road and avoiding that orange construction barrel that’s just inches away from becoming a hood ornament. Anyway, we digress. If you pick this option to track your fleets’ whereabouts, consider ramping up your cell phone minutes with your carrier (you’re going to need them, that’s a fact). And look at it this way, at least you’ll know your driver’s every move – providing they aren’t giving you fake directions to throw you off your game.

3. Tip toe, through the…breadcrumbs?

That’s right. We said bread. Who needs some sophisticated, state-of-the-art, best-in-class tracking solution when you have this bakery staple at your disposal? It worked for Hansel and Gretel, didn’t it?!? Each morning, when your drivers report to the shop, right when you give them their hand written job sheets for the day, give them a loaf of bread. White, wheat, rye, cinnamon raisin, the sky’s the limit. Just make sure to give each driver a different flavor and tell them to drop breadcrumbs wherever they travel for the day. Oh, and we highly caution you against using this method in areas where high winds persist. Or it rains. Or flocks of birds frequent. Or small children play. You get the point.

4. Hire that famous private eye.

We know you’re busy. So why track your drivers and vehicles yourself when you can just as easily hire someone to do it for you? Here’s what you can do – Google “detective”, “private eye” or “super sleuth” and let them know you want to hire them to follow your fleet around. After they stop laughing, tell them you’re serious. And wait for the response. The only potential downside to this method: you may end up finding out more about your drivers than you ever wanted to.

5. If all else fails, track the cell.

A surprisingly common way to monitor drivers and technicians in the field is by tracking their cell phones. This method of choice only works when their cell phone is on AND attached to their hip AND there’s cell phone reception AND well, you can see where this is going. Deploying this “tracking solution” will give you a good chance that you’ll maybe, possibly, in some way know where your techs were at some point in time, probably.

Had a good laugh? Learn how a GPS vehicle tracking solution can make fleet tracking so much easier.

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